The Out-of-Touch Adults’ Guide to Kid Culture: Who Is Corn Kid?
Reading Time: 3 minutesSometimes we find joy in unlikely places, like a kid who really digs corn.
Sometimes the churning sturm und drang of a dying republic are drowned out by purity and light. This week, our momentary respite from despair comes from Corn Kid, a kid who likes corn so much, it might save the world.
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What’s the deal with Corn Kid?
This week, an internet legend was born: Corn Kid. This adorable little corn-loving fellow’s unbridled enthusiasm for corn is the most important thing on earth this week, and he will surely join never-to-be-forgotten internet celebrities and memes like keyboard cat, planking, and dumping ice water on your head because of something about some disease.
Corn Kid’s rise to super-stardom began with this video, which was remixed into this awesome TikTok song and this amazing dance and Corn Kid memes and more.
I’m trying to gain some insight into why this particular kid has captivated everyone’s heart—there are millions of videos out there of adorable kids being enthusiastic, after all—but I can’t figure out what unknowable life force makes this video so much better at making people happy than all the others. I’m just glad he’s out there, and that I can still manage to feel something like joy. The kid just loves corn.
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This week in internet warnings
Because everything on the internet that isn’t Corn Kid is terrible, here is part 5,361 in my 83,220 part series: Do Not Do These Things You Saw Online.
- Do not pester whales for clicks, views, follows, likes, or anything else.
- Do not terrorize your children with fake ghosts.
- Do not use faulty tanning beds. Don’t use any tanning beds, actually.
- Do not quit your birth control because an online ‘holistic healer’ tells you to.
- Do not ‘sun your holes.‘
J.K. Rowling takes aim at online critics
Also, don’t write a 1,000 word novel in response to people who are mad at you online. And don’t tell people that’s not why you wrote it, because we all can read. This advice is directed, of course, at Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling, whose new book, The Ink Black Heart, came out this week.
The sixth installment in the Cormoran Strike series (which I was surprised to learn is a thing), The Ink Black Heart tells the story of a popular artist who is found dead after becoming the enemy of woke, perpetually online people with controversial opinions. Just like Rowling has come under fire for her own tweets about trans people online.
This is the kind of own-goal that just makes you shake your head. She could have just kept writing books about elves or spaceships or whatever shit the Harry Potter books are about, but she did this instead. She could be eating as much corn as she wants.
Is everyone at work a cop or a friend?
In this TikTok, @nikolai_novikov advises separating everyone at work into two categories: Cop or friend. The idea, I guess, is to regard everyone at work distrustfully until they prove themselves. This is a good start, but it’s not enough. Luckily, the comment section of the video is full of people offering tips for spotting a cop, including co-workers who get mad at other workers for taking bathroom breaks, and the biggest cop-tell of all, talking about playing golf.
Watching younger people publicly experience the nonsensical world of employment and try to make it make sense is fascinating…I guess because I remember my first ‘real’ job (at an insurance company or something) and how alienating and surreal it was to spend chunks of my life around people I absolutely couldn’t relate to in any way. I don’t remember caring particularly about whether anyone was a ‘cop’ or ‘friend,’ because I was too busy trying to will time to pass faster and plotting my escape. (Hat-tip to DailyDot for the find)
Viral video of the week: Viral videos that are actually good
This week’s viral video is about viral videos. It’s totally recursive, man. In it, YouTuber LazarLazar spends eight minutes showing off the biggest viral videos of the last month. Despite the title, most of the viral videos here aren’t actually good, but I’m including this clip as an example of a genre of online entertainment where the host reacts to other people’s content, giving the overall effect of watching bad TV with a pal.
While I don’t find this YouTuber interesting, insightful, or funny—he’s an annoying doof with a grating accent making obvious comments over dull videos—I’m clearly not the target market here. LazarLazar is extremely popular, so there’s something here that young people like; I’m just at a loss for what it is. Anyway, check out the video and try to figure it out. Or, better yet, check out my current favorite YouTuber, Look Mum No Computer, if you like videos about repurposing outdated technology and you can’t get enough oscillators in your life.